Financially preparing for freedom

A guide for leaving an abusive relationship while protecting yourself and your loves ones.

As South Africa observes 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), it’s important to remember that abuse isn’t always physical. Many victims endure psychological, emotional, and financial manipulation, which can trap them in unsafe relationships.

If you have found yourself in this harrowing position, Queen Malobane, Gauteng General Manager at Metropolitan, emphasises the importance of planning ahead to secure not only your freedom but also the financial protection of your loved ones.

Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly complex, involving safety concerns, emotional readiness, and – critically – financial preparation.

Malobane shares five key financial considerations when making the courageous decision to reclaim your independence and safeguard your future.

Create a nest egg for financial independence

A crucial first step in preparing to leave is setting up a separate savings account. Whether it’s a tax-free savings account or an endowment fund, having these funds tucked away can be life-changing when the time comes to leave. And this doesn’t require your spouse’s consent, Malobane explains. “If you’re in a marriage where financial control is used against you, discreetly securing a savings account can give you the foundation to support yourself as you transition out.”

In fact, some companies offer employees the option to divert a portion of their salary into a private account. These accounts often come with a separate payslip, which helps protect financial autonomy. Having an independent financial cushion is particularly empowering, as it allows you to act on your own terms.

Take control of your debt before it controls you

If your finances are tangled with those of your spouse, understanding your debt obligations is essential. A credit report can clarify any shared debts and help you see where you stand financially. In cases of financial abuse, it’s also common to find accounts or debts taken in your name without your knowledge. Access to your credit profile allows you to address these issues and start taking steps to protect your financial identity.

“Checking your credit record is empowering,” Malobane advises. “You’ll know exactly where you stand, what debts you need to address, and which obligations you can safely separate from. And there are plenty of free options available to gain this knowledge.”

Protect your children’s future with life cover

In an abusive marriage, it is unfortunately a priority to ensure that your loved ones are provided for if the worst should happen. Life cover allows for exactly this, as you can nominate your children or another trusted beneficiary without involving your spouse.

It’s important to note that life cover does require the consent of the person whose life is insured, so it isn’t something you can take out on your spouse without their agreement. However, you can hold a policy on yourself to benefit your children directly, says Malobane. “Life cover isn’t just about leaving a legacy; it’s about ensuring immediate financial support for your children, especially in the case of community of property marriages where only half of your Estate can be allocated according to your wishes.”

Funeral cover, in contrast, can be arranged without spousal consent, which may also provide some relief. This type of cover can ensure that the costs of final arrangements don’t burden your loved ones, should something happen to you.

Have a Will in place and establish a testamentary trust

Having a Will is critical in any marriage, but it is especially important in an abusive relationship where financial control is involved. In a community of property marriage, you can only dictate what happens to 50% of your Estate in the event of your death. A Will ensures that your wishes are respected, allowing you to direct assets to support your children or loved ones.

A testamentary trust, which can be established in your Will, is another way to protect your children’s inheritance, as it holds assets for their benefit until they come of age. “Your Will can safeguard the future of your children, ensuring that assets are preserved and managed responsibly. Without a Will, your Estate could automatically go to your spouse, leaving your children with little or no support,” warns Malobane.

Upskill yourself in financial literacy

Financial abuse often thrives on limiting one partner’s access to financial information. To ensure this doesn’t happen, educate yourself on the basics of personal finance and consider working with a financial adviser to get an objective perspective on your situation.

“Many feel that they can’t leave an abusive marriage due to financial reasons, but with the right support and guidance, regaining control is possible,” says Malobane. “Understanding your financial position and familiarising yourself with the powerful tools available, such as investment calculators and financial literacy content online, can empower you to make choices that protect both your interests and those of your loved ones.”

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